And I thought I outsmarted the humans…

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And I thought I outsmarted the humans…

First of all, HAPPY HUMP DAY!

As a pug I have one philosophy in life: outsmart the humans whenever possible. Well, that and the one about consuming as much food as possible. Ever since I have been living with the new humans (entire 3.5 weeks now!) I have been pretending to not be able to walk down the stairs. Because I am a little pug puppy, it really hasn’t been that hard to fake being scared of heights. The humans thought it was normal. I was SO sly about it too! I moaned and cried every time they took me near the stairs so that they thought I was frightened to death. I also made sure to dig in my nails into the flooring to show my discomfort in the idea of walking downstairs.

pug tongue

All was going well until yesterday night when I tried to be too smart for my own good. One of the humans takes classes at Lipscomb University and I went with the other human to pick her up. I was wondering around and getting tons of attention from girls as usual (being the pimp I am). Suddenly I saw some stairs in front of me and some girls at the bottom of the them (they think pugs are SO cute). I decided to walk down and greet them with my tongue hanging out (my best pick-up line aka act). FAIL! The human noticed me walking down the stairs! Well… there goes my comfortable life. Now I am expected to walk down the stairs every time I go to pee and poo, which is quiet often. It is outrageous. I stick out my tongue and look distressed but they still make me do it! Puppy abuse I tell you! I’d report them if only they did not give me so many treats a day, yes sir I would!

Besides the walking, I also met another human today. I am told he will be my dog sitter. I LOVE him already! He rubs my chin and scratches the corner of my belly- just the way I like it! I was so excited to meet him but I was not sure if he felt the same enthusiasm as me. So I decided to poop on the carpet in front of him as a nice welcome. I know, I know. That is so hospitable of me, isn’t it? I do that all the time. I bet you can’t wait to visit me now!

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