And I thought I outsmarted the humans…
First of all, HAPPY HUMP DAY!
As a pug I have one philosophy in life: outsmart the humans whenever possible. Well, that and the one about consuming as much food as possible. Ever since I have been living with the new humans (entire 3.5 weeks now!) I have been pretending to not be able to walk down the stairs. Because I am a little pug puppy, it really hasn’t been that hard to fake being scared of heights. The humans thought it was normal. I was SO sly about it too! I moaned and cried every time they took me near the stairs so that they thought I was frightened to death. I also made sure to dig in my nails into the flooring to show my discomfort in the idea of walking downstairs.
All was going well until yesterday night when I tried to be too smart for my own good. One of the humans takes classes at Lipscomb University and I went with the other human to pick her up. I was wondering around and getting tons of attention from girls as usual (being the pimp I am). Suddenly I saw some stairs in front of me and some girls at the bottom of the them (they think pugs are SO cute). I decided to walk down and greet them with my tongue hanging out (my best pick-up line aka act). FAIL! The human noticed me walking down the stairs! Well… there goes my comfortable life. Now I am expected to walk down the stairs every time I go to pee and poo, which is quiet often. It is outrageous. I stick out my tongue and look distressed but they still make me do it! Puppy abuse I tell you! I’d report them if only they did not give me so many treats a day, yes sir I would!
Besides the walking, I also met another human today. I am told he will be my dog sitter. I LOVE him already! He rubs my chin and scratches the corner of my belly- just the way I like it! I was so excited to meet him but I was not sure if he felt the same enthusiasm as me. So I decided to poop on the carpet in front of him as a nice welcome. I know, I know. That is so hospitable of me, isn’t it? I do that all the time. I bet you can’t wait to visit me now!