It’s official: I do not like Mondays. They are no good and honestly, I think I could just do without them. Now Sundays, those are good days. Yesterday was Sunday and it was so awesome. I did so many things and visited so many different places -it was fantastic. I also made a brand new discovery that I think might be useful for me in the future. So, whenever I hear the humans say this word “sit” or “down” I get this strange urge to stick my butt on the ground. Don’t ask me why I do it, but I get this strange feeling that if I put my butt on the ground something good will happen…and then I hear a loud CLICK and the crazy humans give me a treat and tell me that I’m a good boy. Weird…I haven’t quiet been able to put the pieces together on this one, but I think I’ll get it eventually.
Yesterday started out pretty typically: The humans woke up, took me out of my crate, and walked me outside to this little grass area where I always pee. Don’t get me wrong, this little grass area is a great place to pee, but I just don’t understand why the humans find it necessary to take me all the way outside and down three flights of stairs to do something I could easily do on the carpet. It really doesn’t make any sense. I don’t see the humans peeing outside on a little piece of grass, but I also don’t see them pee on the carpet either…hmm…this is going to take some figuring out. Next thing I know, crazy the male human decides to take me out to the big lawn to run around. This is great because the male human loves to run around just as much as me (I really think we have a lot in common). The entire time the male human is saying “go number two go number two,” which doesn’t really make much sense to me since go is a verb and number two is a noun phrase -sorry it just bothers me when people don’t know how to speak the Pug’s English.
So there we are running around and having lots of fun while the male human continues to holler out nonsense when I suddenly get the urge to poop, which once again is something I easily could have done on the carpet, but I was outside so what the hey. So I do my business when the male human reaches down and starts rubbing my muzzle and telling me that I’m a good dog. This is great! I love getting my muzzle rubbed and it’s always nice to hear positive feedback from the humans. “Let’s get back to running around,” I think to myself, but what does the male human do? He picks up my poop off the grass, which I find incredibly strange and creepy, throws it in the garbage, and then takes me back up to the house. What gives! It’s like all he wanted to do was to see me poop and leave. Strange creatures these humans are.
Later in the day after I had myself a really nice nap, the humans decided to take me outside (which I love), but instead of taking me on a walk they put me in this little portable den, that’s rather uncomfortable, and then put me in this thing that looked like a giant dog. Only it wasn’t a dog because we sat inside of it and it moved a lot faster than a regular dog. I’ve been in this giant dog before, and let me tell you: it is no fun. It stops and moves for no particular reason, is noisy, and it has this button that humans press to make all kinds of strange sound come out from all corners. This noise is really strange because it sounds like humans gone absolutely mad. I think I heard one of these mad humans say something like “baby are you down, down , down, down, down,” which was really confusing because then I suddenly got the urge to put my butt on the ground…strange.