New Species: Black Pug, or Creature From Outer Space?
Scientist have discovered a new dog-like creature that dwells under the couches of Human homes in the Nashville area of Tennessee. After months of speculation and debate, the news was eventually disclosed when the picture above was released across the internet.
According to scientist, the presence of the new species, which has been named Bunk by local community members (scientific name: Canis Pugus Pooponthecouchu), in modern human dwellings indicates a vast resource of available food and water.
Scientist are currently running a multitude of test on the new creature in order to ascertain how it is has been able to survive with such physical shortcomings such as bulging eyes, a smashed-in face, and low intellect. Thus far, the prevailing hypothesis among scientist is that the gluttonous animal finds food by means of running erratically at tops speeds until it stumbles upon sustenance, which it then sucks into its mouth using a sophisticated technique whereby the creature drips saliva over its food and inhales the soupy mixture in mere seconds. This hypothesis has found strong support among those who believe the creature’s smashed-in face can only be the result of continually running headlong into walls. Others, however, believe the new species behaves as parasite; leaching off the humans it encounters by cleverly exploiting people’s enthrallment towards weak, hapless animals, thereby voluntarily giving the animal food in exchange for pity and countless laughs.
One person we interviewed, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the following on what he calls Bunk,” When I saw Bunk for the first time, I just assumed that it was another escaped lab experiment from the local university, which still may be the case, but after seeing and interacting with it on many occasions, I am now beginning to believe that it came from outer space.”
Black Pug: The Hell Spawn of Satan?
Others in the community have begun to take a more radical view of the creature’s origins.
“Look man, this creature is evil!” Said a local resident who recently began handing out flyers to neighbors proclaiming that Bunk is the hell-spawn of Satan. “Have you seen its eyes?” The man went on to tell his frightening encounter with the creature. “Like everyone else I was curious about Bunk, so late one night I hunted it down to get a better look. As I approached I noticed a large, spongy, red object protruding from its mouth. It hung down so low and was so wet…I just stood there frozen in terror. What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life: as I stood there motionless, I accidentally dropped my flashlight on the ground, shinning a beam of light directly in its face. It looked at me and turned its head, excect its head didn’t swivel laterally, but instead tilted up in the most frightening manner. I closed my eyes and waited for it finish me off. The last thing I remember was it running towards me in a frantic manner. Just before it pounced on me, I blacked out and awoke hours later with disgusting thick slobber on my face and Flaming Hot Cheetos missing from my bag.”
Until more research is done, the origins of this mysterious animal will remain unclear, and while some community members continue to hypothesize Bunk’s origins, others are content with the new oddity in their neighborhood and wish the best for the furry little creature.