New Year’s Eve Mayhem – Pug Style
New Year’s Eve is officially the greatest day ever! It is so much fun because it is the only time of the year when the humans come to their senses and allow me to cause the kind of destruction every pug so desperately wants to generate. It was so great running around like a mad-pug, chewing on random tables, knocking down random objects, and eating all kinds of random things on the ground, which is absolutely fantastic because a little puppy like myself loves more than a kitchen full of drunk humans dropping half of their hors d’oeuvre on the ground because their motor skills have gone to such mush they can’t coordinate food to get from their mouths to their faces. It was raining food, and I was right there -happily- to clean it up like a vacuum cleaner. In fact, I did such a good job a keeping the floor clean that I think the humans are considering using me as a full-time carpet and kitchen cleaner.
The best part about causing destruction on New Years was that I got to embarrass the humans. They are so silly. They actually thought they could take me somewhere and not cause destruction for an entire night. Why did they do this? They are both capable, intelligent individuals who carry demanding jobs. They are rational, honest, clear-headed, and have good judgement. In the human world, they are what would be considered “upstanding citizens.” Of course, all of their judgement gets thrown out the window and peed on by a Sharpei when I come into the picture. Their brains get so polluted with ideas of showing me off to their friends and wanting to exploit my cuteness for social praise from other humans. It is amazing how low a scrunchy, pug face will make some people go…
No puggin’ Way
The night began early when we arrived at what I thought was just some random human’s house. As we approached the door I plotted my course of action for the night and decided that I would start off with the whole “I’m a cute little pug please give me a belly rub” act, and slowly increase the level of destructiveness as the humans got more and more intoxicated.
Thing got kind of strange, however, when we got inside and I smelled something strange…something I hadn’t smelled for quiet sometime…
It was Lady! OMG! This was going to be interesting night. Not only did I get to cause mayhem with the humans but I got to torment Lady for the entire night. This was going to be fun! The first thing I did when I saw her was give her butt a nice sniffing just to make sure it was really her -it was. Then I ran up to her, growled, and then ran away. Knowing Lady, I figured I could do this for at least two hours before she got angry enough to do anything; however, I had to quickly move on since there was still a house full of things that needed destroying.